Course ? One word, tons of silly. Every day.

Before we start, here?s the poll for the car week:

Here?s a fun fact about me: I freaking love food. Well, I love eating, and loving food is a part of it. Yesterday?s 12+ hour party wasn?t really that awesome (other than the fact that I basically rocked with my hat), except the food was excellent and the wine was superb.

I usually take red wine, but the waiter gave me a long speech recommending white for the entr?es, so I agreed and it was nice, but after the entr?es it was red all the way till 3 in the morning (the party started around 3 p.m. so I guess I?m officially a drunk bastard). But anyway, the wine was delicious but it?s not what I?m here to tell you about; when we got there I saw the menu for the party and noticed it was looooong. Estranged, my mom suggested we?d be given a choice (like on those weddings where they ask if you want chicken or fish), but I just replied ?I hope not?? and we were not, we were fed all that.

Of course, being a fancy party, the portions weren?t that generous, but the waiter sort of got keen on me because I made him laugh by commenting his white wine speech (and possibly he was gay and loved my hat-and-cashmere-jacket look), ?and my sister and cousin gave me their leftovers, so I ended up having at least twice as much as I was supposed to.

Notably? Some delicious raw tuna (tartar), a potato and cheese little square thing, and the gravy on the main course. And the deserts, holy crap? I wish to one day have a lot of money, like my uncles, so I can throw delicious food-based parties like this.

Anyway, there are tons of food tales in my history? see, not only do I love food, I was also blessed with a metabolism so fast it could probably go to the Olympics if there was such a category. I can eat tons of food and yet I remain a thin person, at least for now. I will tell you all these tales eventually, but today I?m going to skip to the end and share the worst of them all.

It?s going to make you think I?m a human pig for eating all that, so I will round the tale up with two Jay & Dub episodes strategically placed so you remember how awesome I actually am before and after reading the tale.

It was a bright day on the coast, in the city where I lived before my current city. I woke up at noon because it was vacations (about a year ago, actually) and I was out all the night before with my friend the Zolobuke (codename I will someday explain). The family decided to go to the movies, and since my sister and I hadn?t eaten breakfast by then, we ordered some food there:

First course (around 2:40 p.m.)

-Three-kinds-of-cheese sub with extra ham (about 20 cm long)
-Bag of curly fries (as tall as the sub was large)
-Large Coke (and I mean movies-large, not taco-stand-large)

My dad did have breakfast, though, so after the movies he was hungry and we all went for a bite. I figured I?d just order something small, but we ended up in a new restaurant that looked way too nice to pass, so I figured ?I?ll stuff my face mildly and not have dinner?.

Second course (around 5:00 p.m.)

-Rockefeller oysters (2-3)
-Shrimp cream (I have no idea why I ordered this, I wasn?t soup-hungry but it was delicious)
-Seafood banana wrap (I thought it was a little banana filled with seafood? I was wrong)
-Dessert (shared with the rest of the family)
-About two or three cans of Coke

Man! I was stuffed! It?s cool, though? I?ve been here before. My body has handled this gross amount of food several times before. But wait, then the Zolobuke calls and tells me there are 2?1 hamburgers at my favorite Rock Bar! Of course, I came over, but I?m not that crazy, I had just eaten?but I figured I?d be a little hungry at around 10 p.m. and it was 2?1 anyway so even if I didn?t finish the burger it was a good deal.

But there was one thing I didn?t expect, the 2?1 only lasted until 8 p.m. so we had to leave for the bar right at that moment. I would order the burger before eight and eat it slowly. We got there quickly, and ordered drinks and the burger. It turned out to be a huge cheese and mushroom packed burger!

I don?t know what overcame me, but I ate? The? Whole? Damn? Thing.

Third course (just before 8 p.m.)

-Giant mushroom burger with fries
-Did I mention it came with fries?
-Prepared Clamato (falls hard on your belly)
-A can of Coke

And I don?t even fucking like mushrooms! What the hell?

So that?s three considerably large meals in a six hour span, possibly the largest food/hour ratio I?ve ever managed in my life. When I got back home, I didn?t even get an indigestion, but I did require a large amount of time spent with my back against the wall and a retarded look on my face, since all the brain waves were focused on the digestive process.

?Never again?? I though.

And for once in my life, I meant it.

Come to think of it, that J&D episode didn?t really divert from the subject? I know, I?m a freaking pig. You?ll also come to learn that I absolutely love hamburgers. Most of my food tales involve burgers. I could probably write lengthy essays about burgers.

McDonald?s, by the way, are not burgers? that?s just what people in poor countries shit, only reprocessed and given the shape of burgers.

Anyway, speaking of burgers, it?ll be my birthday on Wednesday, and I want a cheeseburger from Chilli?s, so it?s very likely that will be just another food tale in the making. We?ll see?

Wait, I know! Before I go, I know what I want for my birthday from my readers: I want drawings of cheeseburgers. If you can draw (and love this blog), draw me a cheeseburger, and I?ll make a collage on Thursday. Ready? Set? Go!

Source: http://awardperday.wordpress.com/2011/06/06/course/

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