Longform?s Best Writing About Sex in 2011

?It was the sort of easily mocked, over-the-top statement that Ted might make, but he himself never actually put it in those terms. Ted has been vague about his sexuality since moving back to Colorado Springs in 2008. He says that he still believes the Bible is clear that 'homosexuality is not God's best plan for people,' but his stance on the issue has softened to the point of near incomprehensibility. After the camping trip, when I asked him about the wording he once used to describe his same-sex urges?in 2006 he wrote in a letter to New Life's congregation that he was warring with a 'repulsive and dark' part of himself?he backtracked, saying he never meant it that way. 'There's nothing repulsive to me about that world, but it's not a temptation anymore.'

?When we get back from the mountains, I drive up to Denver to visit Mike Jones. Jones, a soft-spoken inverted triangle of a man, chuckles at the idea of Ted's temptation-free heterosexual existence. 'He can call it whatever he wants,' he says, 'but... please.' In Jones's 2007 tell-all, I Had to Say Something, he describes drug-fueled porn-watching sessions, fumbling attempts at oral sex, and an occasion on which Art from Kansas City paid him to have sex with another man while he watched. Jones was once proud of exposing a conservative hypocrite, but as he shows me around his modest one-bedroom apartment, he tells me that he's had trouble keeping a steady job since the scandal and that when potential boyfriends Google him, they mostly flee in horror.

? 'I wouldn't do it again,' he says. 'It's ruined my life, too.' "

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